The Wonderful Wizard of Go
by chirp chirp
Summary: Just popped into my head. Hikaru and Sai find themselves in the Land of Go, formerly Oz, and set off on a quest, or maybe more, while being watched over by the mysterious Good Witch of the South, Honinbo Shusaku. SaiHika. Other pairings later on.
1. Sai I don't think we're in Tokyo anymore

Disclaimer: I do not own _Hikaru no Go_. Sadly, I don't even own Sai, or, for the matter, a plushy Sai (which shall be rectified as soon as possible. Sai, you shall be mine yet! Mwahahaha! Sorry, random fan girl spaz. Think nothing of it.) I also plan on using some Monty Python and Princess Bride references, so, just to be safe, I own neither. However, if anybody tries to steal anything that could possibly be construed as original in this story, or uses anything without asking, I will send a horde of demonic bunnies to beat you to death with ice cream scoops. And please don't get too annoyed over grammatical or spelling errors. I have no beta reader, and no matter how many times I go over my work, some errors are bound to go uncaught. Which is rather sad, as I happen to be a fanatical grammar nazi. _Respect the English language, people!!_ However, I am getting off track. As usual. Let the story begin!!

**READ AND REVIEW!!**

(PS: slightly shounen-ai content in this story. If you don't know what that is, look it up! _And __**never**__ go blindly exploring around a doujinshi site if you don't know what shounen-ai or yaoi is. You will regret it. I did. Sano and Kenshin,… just not right. I have been forever scarred. Sorry all you KenshinxSano peoples, but honestly, if you saw the page I saw, you'd think the same thing. …But Kenshin going Battousai…-drool-_)

(PPS: Yes, I do have ADD. Yes I do take medication. No, I forgot today. Cheers!)

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Hikaru kicked off his shoes, striding up to his room on the second floor. His parents weren't home, so he just continued on his way upward. Vaguely, he noticed that the weather channel was saying something about tornado sightings in his area.

"_Hikaru, let's play!"_ Sai chimed happily darting around the small room.

"Sure," Hikaru said, smiling at the exhilarated ghost.

"_Yay!_"

Hikaru watched as Sai did his little happy dance, eventually plopping himself across from Hikaru, the Goban between them.

They began to play. In fact, Hikaru's concentration was so great, that it took a started yell from Sai to make him snap out of the game and turn around. Outside the window, a twister was heading towards them, and there was no basement or cellar that he could jump into for safety. Instead he took his only other option and flew downstairs, Sai hard on his heels, to the bathroom, where he immediately jumped into the tub. At the moment, because of the lack of windows and the strength of the porcelain tub, it was the safest place to be.

Then, the tornado hit the house.

Hikaru felt dizzy, partly deafened by the howling winds. The only thing that kept him rooted into the conscious world was the presence of the ghost at his side, just as frightened as he was. Suddenly, it seemed as if the house had been lifted from its foundations and was now spinning uncontrollably through the air. Hikaru reached out with his mind and touched Sai. The ghost turned to him with his usual small smile.

"Don't worry, Hikaru, it's just a dream, a very bad dream. You drifted off while we were playing Go, that's all. It's just a dream…."

s

And then they heard an earsplitting crack as the house's structure trembled. The spinning sensation had stopped and the two peered anxiously out of the tub. Carefully the two climbed out and slowly made there way towards the door.

They stepped out of the doorway to find a sea of tiny people blocking their way.

"_Ding Dong, the witch is dead! The Wicked Witch is dead!!" _

"A boy and his ghost killed her! Oh happy day in Munchkin land!!"

Hikaru barely had time to register what he saw and heard before a mob of Munchkinlanders swarmed around Sai and himself.

"Hey, check it out! My hand went straight through him!" cried a Munchkin child giggling happily at the horrified expression on Sai's face as he looked down to see a tiny hand protruding through his chest.

Hikaru began to snigger uncontrollably.

"_The wicked witch is dead!!_" cried a few more munchkinlanders in a nauseatingly sing-song voice. It evoked an emotion in Sai similar to when he saw children skipping down the streets sing "Ring around the Rosy." Didn't anybody know that was a song about a disease that wiped out three quarters of the population of Europe? He knew this because he had paid attention to the history teacher while Hikaru slept through class. History was interesting, if a little on the gory, gruesome, and morbid side.

My, how he had digressed in the span of two seconds. Where was he? Oh yes, this '_the witch is dead,"_ nonsense. But, why was this important?

He wanted to hit himself hard on the head. Their house had been hit by a tornado, he had no clue where they were, and he was surrounded by a bunch of midgets who were somehow able to see him. And he had just been worrying about creepy children's songs? Not that there wasn't a plethora of seriously disturbing songs children sung (Rock-a-By Baby being among the top five of his '_Creepy as Shit Nursery Rhymes'_ List), but there were more, shall we say, _pressing _matters? Like what short of ridiculous fanfic authoress's whim had he been dragged into today?

"Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore," Hikaru whispered, trying to hide his grin.

And of course, he was the dog. That stupid, irritating little dog. Oh the injustice! What was the point of being one of the sexiest bishounens in existence when the authoress gave you the part of the whiny little dog? –_sigh-_

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End of the Prologue.

Okay, prepare for the insueing randomness of following chapters. Including:

Shusaku, the good witch of the South

Go playing Lions, …nevermind. Too expensive.

Waya dressed up as a lion playing Go

God.

The Wizard (Which of the cast will he be?)

The Wicked Witch of the West (OH, this one's a big surprise)

Gay Flying Monkeys

Exploding Sheep

Closets emitting strange sounds

And various Monty Python, Princess Bride, and (oh the surprise) Wizard of Oz jokes.

Strengthen yee mind for the following madness of a rabid fangirl!!

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	2. Shusaku, The Good Witch of the South

_**READ AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

Disclaimer: Hikaru no Go, The Wonderful Wizard, and a Sai plushie are not owned by me. –_weep-_

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Chapter 1: The Good Witch of the South, Honinbo Shusaku

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Suddenly, in a flurry of bubbles, a person appeared.

"Torajiro?!" Sai yelled, his absurdly tall hat nearly falling off.

"Welcome to the land of Go, previously known as Oz," said Torajiro, a seriously disturbing smile plastered on his face, "And I am Honinbo Shusaku, the Good Witch of the South."

Sai and Hikaru immediately collapsed to the ground in a classic anime fall-down.

"What?" Shusaku said innocently, his flawless smile still firmly in place.

"Ummm…" said Sai, trying to think of a polite way of saying "_What the hell is going on here?!"_

"What the hell is going on here?!" Hikaru said loudly, causing Sai to sweatdrop.

"You'll find out later. Just go down that yellow brick road yonder and talk to the '_Wonderful Wizard of Oz-' _sorry, I mean '_of Go',_ of course. By the way, are you interested in the Wicked Witch of the East's oh so shiny sandals? After all, your shoes are buried somewhere in the ruins of your home. See the shiny sandals? That would be them, right there on the legs sticking out from under your house."

"Why would we be interested in a dead guy's footwear? Have you had too much _sake_ lately or something?" Hikaru said, one eyebrow raised.

"Ahahahaha, … no. And whether you want them or not, too bad. Ya get them anyway because its part of the plot," Shusaku giggled, and with a wave of the snowflake-crested stick, the oh-so-shiny sandals appeared on Hikaru's feet.

Hikaru glared at the annoying, still smiling Go-Saint before him. "**You suck**."

"Yep, so just keep going down that little yellow brick road and eventually you'll run into the Emerald City. Big shiny green thing, can't miss it. Good luck, and ta-ta!" and with a cheery wave, the Good Witch of the South disappeared in a flurry of bubbles.

Hikaru looked at Sai.

Sai looked at Hikaru.

This was going to be weird. Very, very weird.

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_And now for something completely different:_

On a flowery plain in _Oz_, I mean _Go_, many harmless farm animals peacefully graze.

Suddenly, a sheep explodes.

_End of Chapter 1_

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Endnotes: Yes, I know these chapters are obscenely short, but you have to understand, this is mainly my enjoyment, and I have absolutely no idea where this is leading.

And for you people wondering what was with Shusaku, I basically patterned him after a slightly psychotic Sojirou (Ruruouni Kenshin, Kyoto Arc).

The main reason for this odd story is that I have decided the _Hikaru no Go_ fandom lacks unique, immature, purely goofy stories. Yes there are at least a thousand of the AU "Search for the: Hat of God, Eyebrows of God, Toenails of God, Ass of God, etc. I find them rather tedious. Granted, changing the subject up can work when done properly with the proper material, (example: _Hitokiri Stainmaster_ by Angrybee). But, honestly, Sai is best left with his Go. Anyway, I'll be getting into the fun of this rather plot-less and pointless story in later chapters. Have fun reading!!

And let it thus be know: This is a definite HikaSai pairing. If you wanted it anything other than that, **TOUGH LUCK!! ** I love this pairing, and so I shall write about it! And their age gap makes Inuyasha and Kagome look normal (she's fourteen and he's over sixty for Christ's sake!!). However, do to the odditys of the story, I may use some strange pairings of my own invention, _heh heh_. Anyway, I shall conclude now.

_**REVIEW MY BELOVED READERS!!**_


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